My mom says that when I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up I would say "A mommy." Almost in a tone that was like come on people ... duh, is there another option?!
I didn't say a doctor, police officer, teacher, nurse, vet ... you get the point. At that age I could have said anything I set my little mind on. Yet I said I wanted to be a mommy.
I think as a two year old God was already planting in me a desire to be a mom.
To be a nurturer. Caretaker. Protector.
I truly believe I have been given a passion to be a mom.
I think that is why I have had such a hard time finding direction in my career. In college I had the hardest time deciding a major and look where I ended up. Child and Family Studies (aka I want to be a mommy). Sometimes I get frustrated with this desire. I am not at a place where I am ready to be a mom. Sometimes I think why can't I just be normal and have big career goals! You don't get paid to be a wife. You don't get paid to be a mom. Yet these are the things my hearts so longs to be doing.
I watch some of my friends and so admire the passion they have for their job. I watch my friend Chelcie and admire her passion for teaching. She is going to make such a wonderful teacher! I watch my husband and admire his passion for business and serving people. I watch my sister and admire her passion for speech pathology.
Sometimes I envy these people as I watch the direction they have in their lives. I keep searching for a career that I am passionate about ... when I know deep down my hearts desire is to be a mom. So now what?! Andy and I aren't ready to have children. So I have an awkward 5 or 6 years where I work, but I'm not doing what I feel called to do. Is it possible to feel called to be a mom? I think maybe so.